MAN LAW

Your ex-girlfriend is psycho

1. You don’t own a rabbit, and yet there’s one boiling on your stove.
2. Her camouflage fails to conceal her hiding place in your bed.
3. She doesn’t call and breathe heavily—she does it from your window.
4. Her latest fling: your grandfather.
5. She shows off her collection of your precious nose hairs.

Oprah is secretly living in your house

1. Where did all these books come from?
2. There’s a quartet of sensitive, middle-aged women in pajamas gabbing sassily in your closet.
3. Dr. Phil is hogging your bathroom again.
4. Stedman repeatedly calls your phone, but refuses to leave a message.
5. Everything is so warm and fuzzy.

Run while you can............